Ryoko's deal with the devil
by Iain Boulton
Summary: Ryoko has the chance of her life to be with Tenchi forever after a offer from the devil himself (played by Lem, my own character). But will she agree to give her soul for seven wishes? Please R
1. The offer

Ryoko's deal with the devil  
  
  
  
In this world there around ten billion people. All of which have good and bad points, let's say for an example that a eco-warrior fights the slaughter of animals for beef but they litter the damn planet. A priest might snooze during prayer at the church or maybe dream of the girl he will always meet. You see people, it's always I want this and I want that. Well, it can be like that. Now people learn from experiences out of this world that being selfish or greedy can be bad. But as I see from my list, there's someone who has even more sins to hide. One space pirate by the name of Ryoko. Age unknown, a nice beautiful lady. And deseparate to shag Tenchi. A perfect candidate for wishes; there's no real catch….I think. But what do you care, your just reading my statement on the whole thing. You haven't see the whole story. Sitting comfortable? Got a nice hot cup of chocolate? With a pipe and slippers? Yes? Then sit back and relax for this fun story. Is it fun? Ok, it is. Is there a moral? Wait! I'm spoiling the story. Let's just start this damn thing shall we?  
  
******  
  
" Tenchi; where are you?"  
" Go away Ryoko, I'm busy!"   
" Come on, I just want to play."  
" Go away Ryoko."  
" What are busy with anyway?"  
" Er….stuff…..something…to do with…school."  
" Can I help?"  
" No Ryoko, I'm fine, really I am!"  
" Then why have you locked your bedroom door?"  
" Because I want privacy."  
" Are you doing something in there that I won't like?"  
" No Ryoko, I'm busy!"  
" Busy with what?"  
" Stuff…for school."  
" What exactly?"  
" A project!"  
" Project on…."  
"….something really good."  
" Are you lying because your're in there reading a magazine and you don't want me to disturb you?"  
" No!"  
" Are you sure?"  
" YES!"  
" What magazine are you reading?"  
" I don't have a magazine!"  
" Yes you do, I found the receipt for it…teenage troubles issue number 45, am I right?"  
" Are you sure that's my dad's magazine?"  
" Tenchi! Your dad's at work and I saw you come back with the bag."  
" No you didn't!"  
" I see, you don't want to spend time with me! Is that it?"  
" No, I'm busy at this time, I'll do something with you later, ok?"  
" Yeah, right!"  
It was just another day at Tenchi household. And it seemed that Tenchi wanted to do some… 'private studying' for school the next day. That left poor old…whoops…I meant poor young Ryoko's day just being bored again. Aykea and Sasamia were out picking berries in the woods, don't worry I'll put a big wolf there to frighten them later, Mishosi and Kiyone were on duty and Washu was locked up in her lab (as usual) doing scienitific research on her experiments. All in all, just a typical day.   
It was around noon, and Ryoko was all alone sitting on the couch looking at the tv. It was showing repeats of the daily soap opera that was cancelled years ago because it had no fans and it had no plot kinda like Dallas. It was showing the episode of who shot J.R. Ryoko didn't really want to find out and she decided to flick through the channels on the remote.  
" Nothing good on at lunchtime," said Ryoko flicking through the channels.  
" DAMN IT!" cried Tenchi from upstairs.  
" Tenchi! Can I come up yet?" asked Ryoko.  
" No, I'm still busy."  
" Yeah right and I'm Barney the fricking dinosaur." Said Ryoko to herself. " But since it's lunchtime I'll go and get some lunch."  
Ryoko got up and headed to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took out large quanties of ingredients and made her self a sandwich. It only took her five minutes to make and digest the whole thing. Then Ryoko was bored. She then plodded outside and sat down looking at the clouds.  
" Today's so boring," said Ryoko to herself. " I'd give anything to do something with Tenchi today."  
" Anything?" asked a voice behind her.  
" Yes, anything…" said Ryoko. She turned around to see a lemming in a suit. " AH! Who the hell are you?"  
" I'm a lemming, I jump off cliffs and I'm computer game character from the game 'Lemmings', it's so Ironic isn't it?"  
" What are you doing here?"  
" Well, someone said they give anything to do something with Tenchi." Said the lemming. He took out a clipboard from his black suit and flipped through some papers. " A nice guy, you want him so badly don't you Ryoko?"  
" How did you know my name?" asked Ryoko rasing an eyebrow.  
" Well my dear," said the Lemming throwing the clipboard away. " I know everything that you know! I know that Tenchi right now is in his room reading a men's magazine that his father gave him the money for."  
" Really?"  
" Really!" said the Lemming. " I think it cost him eight dollars, a nice amount of money for teenage porn these days."  
" My god Tenchi's a pervert. Then why doesn't he try and chat me up?"  
" Because my dear, he likes women who don't force him," said the Lemming taking out a picture. He showed it to her. It was Tenchi, at the hotsprings being assaulted by Ryoko. " Remind you of anything."  
" I don't remember," said Ryoko. The lemming put the picture away.  
" Anyway, since you and I have some free time let's go somewhere quiet to…"  
"….I don't find you attractive in anyway and you're a different speices than me."  
" Oh for God's sake, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD! I'M NEVER IN MOOD! If I wanted women I could make it happen in the time it takes for a television to change channels." Said the Lemming. " I want to talk about business!"  
" About what business?"  
" You silly!" said the Lemming and he clapped his hands.  
  
*****  
  
" Where are we?" asked Ryoko sitting in front of a desk with a malt whisky in her hand. " Weren't we outside Tenchi's home?"  
" Yes, but I do my business here," said the Lemming sitting down at the other end in a comfy chair. " So, to business. What if I told you that I have the power to grant you anything and everything you always desired."  
" Like Tenchi?"  
" Yep!"  
" Like getting rid of Aekya for me?"  
" Yep!"  
" Like stopping Washu doing those werid experiments on me to see if my sex's appeal on course?"  
" Um….yessss!"  
" You paued there," said Ryoko. " Can't you do that?"  
" Well, the thing is I don't know about you and Washu. All I know is from my files is that your attracted to Tenchi. Tenchi doesn't want you, Aekya attracted to him as well! Makes a nice love triangle."  
" So what are trying to say? You can make me desirable to Tenchi and Aekya can be attracted to Washu?"  
" If you like Lesbianism then yes," said the Lemming. " Anyway, let's look at the contract shall we?"  
" What contract?" asked Ryoko. A big wage of paper came down from the sky and hit her in the head and then landed on her lap. " OW!"  
" Sorry, stay clear, it flatten Goku's head once and you don't want to know what happened to Ash and his Pikachu when the contract came." said the Lemming. " Take a quick read through, it states that I, the devil, will give you seven wishes for your soul. How's that?"  
" You're the devil?"  
" Yep," said the Lemming.   
" Right….I don't believe you."  
" Really?" asked the Lemming. " Don't believe me, ask for something!"  
" Ok, um…. I would like a ice cream Sunday," said Ryoko. " With hot fudge"  
" Fine," said the Lemming. He clicked his fingers and a rather large ice cream Sunday appeared in front of Ryoko. The lemming handed her a spoon. " Eat up."  
" Cheers," said Ryoko. She started to eat the ice cream Sunday.  
" So have we established that I am the devil?"  
" Yep," said Ryoko still eating.  
" Good, as I was saying. The contract states that I, the devil, will give you seven wishes…"  
"…seven?"  
" I like the number," said the Lemming. " Anyway, I will give you seven wishes for your soul." Ryoko spat out her ice cream. " They always do that when I say that part."  
" MY SOUL?" shouted Ryoko.  
" Do you want a medal or something, that's what I said!"  
" Do I have to give you my soul? Can't you just take Aekya's soul instead."  
" Not that simple, I would have to do numerous things in sub section 679 of the contract; that would state numerous items bing required. You don't want to know what they are."  
" But why my soul?"  
" It's just a type of payment," said the Lemming taking out a cigar and lighting it. " Nothing will happen….except for you to suffer torment in hell!"  
" Hell?"  
" It's not a real big deal, I'll explain it later. So are you interested?"  
" Well, the point of seven wishes seem promising, but do I still have to give you my soul?"  
" Trust me, if you spoke with my clients they would all say that they're having the best time of their life. Take John Travolta, he wished that he could make Battlefield Earth, now he's up for plently of awards claiming the film to the most crap in existence."  
" I see….I still dunno."  
" Well, I've tried my speaking part," said the Lemming smoking his cigar. " But take a look at the nice big video wall to my left." Ryoko looked at the giant video screen to see a person running along a roadway.  
" Who's that?" asked Ryoko. The video screen zoomed in. The person running was Tenchi. " What's Tenchi doing?"  
" All will become clear," said the Lemming puffing out smoke. Meanwhile on the video screen, Tenchi was meeting up with a stranger sitting at a table.  
" Who's that person?" asked Ryoko standing up. " She better not be trying to steal my…" The video showed that the person was Ryoko herself, looking beautiful in a nice gown. "…..that's me?"  
" Exactly," said the Lemming.  
" I love you Ryoko," said Tenchi on the video. " And I'll stay with you forever."  
" Is this real?" asked Ryoko walking over to and staring the video which was showing herself and Tenchi spending time on the beach.  
" It can be," said the Lemming standing next to Ryoko. " All you have to do, to have Tenchi forever, is to sign the contract. And he's yours, no problems from Aekya, Washu or anyone else."  
Ryoko took a long thought, she had the chance of being with Tenchi forever. That was her ideal wish, there seemed to be no other way in her mind to figure this all out. Give her soul to get Tenchi? Or continue aguring over his effections? Ryoko gave more thought and then turned to the contract on the desk; she walked over and picked up a pen and signed it.  
" Excellent," said the Lemming picking up the contract and putting it in a drawer of his desk. " Your all set."  
" Set for what?"  
" Your wishes, but before we go on," said the Lemming. He took out a mobile phone and handed it to her. " If at any time, your wish is not going to plan, dial 5555-Satan and I'll be there. Everything clear?"  
" Yep," said Ryoko. " Could I make a wish now?"  
" Well, I've got an appointment with Joel Schumacher over Batman and Robin, so make it quick."  
" Ok, I want to be married to Tenchi, rich, powerful and well known."  
" Say I wish and I'll do it."  
" I wish that I was married to Tenchi; that we we're rich, powerful and our love is well known."  
" You got it," said the Lemming clicking his fingers. He then brought out a crown and put it on her head. " Enjoy!" Then Ryoko couldn't see anything.  
  



	2. The 1st wish : Rich, powerful and Marrie...

  
The alarm clock went off; it went beep, beep, beep, beep. Ryoko opened her eyes and smacked it off the table. It landed on the floor and stopped beeping. She sat up; she was sitting in a giant double bed all on her own. The bedroom she was in was white, the bed was white, the walls were white, practically everything was white. Quickly Ryoko looked at her right hand, there was a diamond ring on her finger, she was married.  
She got up and quickly walked over to a bedroom table opposite the bed in a dressing gown. Apart from the mirror and jewellery boxes, there was a framed photo. It was her and Tenchi, on the day they were married. Ryoko was in a fine silky white gown while Tenchi was dressed like a normal groom. Everything she wished for was there. Ryoko then noticed an outside balcony from the end of the room. She walked outside, the sun shone on her face and she looked out to see a lush garden with trees and flowers all over the place. There was also a fountain spraying out water. It was clear to Ryoko that she was married to Tenchi, they were living a rich mansion with a lush garden and it seemed that they have an unbreakable love. Ryoko was ecstatic! She jumped up.  
" YES!" she screamed. " And I thought the devil was joking."  
Happily, she ran into her bedroom and got changed into the best clothes she could find in the wardrobe. She picked out the clothes that she would usually wear around Tenchi's house. Once dressed, she walked down a flight of stairs that were to the side of the table and down into a corridor.  
The corridor had paintings on them, quite expensive ones. She stood in the centre of the corridor, now uncertain where to go. There was no clear sign where they lead to leaving Ryoko confused.  
" Something wrong your highness?" asked a voice familiar to Ryoko. Ryoko turned to see what apparently was Washu in servant clothes.  
" Highness?" asked Ryoko.  
" You're forgetting that you are the crowned queen of Juria with Lord Tenchi," said Washu with a quick smile on her face. " I was coming to check if you were ready for some breakfast."  
" I'm not actually hungry Washu. I was thinking of finding where Tenchi was, do you know where he is?"  
" Your husband is carrying on his foreign language lessons with his tutor around the royal garden."  
" Great, I'll go and greet him, you can tidy up the bedroom and then…."  
"….However, you have visitors coming here this morning your highness. Miss Mishosi and Miss Ayeka are arriving at around half past ten, therefore we have an hour to get you ready and dressed."  
" Dressed? Wait a minute, I'm already dressed!" claimed Ryoko. Washu chuckled and then grabbed Ryoko's arm and dragged her off.  
" Your not running around the house with those clothes you wore before you met Tenchi, come on."  
" Hey…let go of me!"  
For the next 45 minutes, Ryoko was dumped in a bath and Washu washed her clean with a sponge and a scrubbing brush. What seemed like relaxing for Ryoko being washed with the sponge then turned to a load of pain when Washu scrubbed hard around her body with the brush. She was whining with every scrub. After the bath, Washu got her dressed in a Royal Jurai gown. It was white with little strips of Red, green and black going around the shoulders and arms. After getting dressed, Washu practically spoon fed Ryoko with cereal. It made Ryoko feel she was a baby, though she never had been a baby since actually being created by Washu in the first place.  
Then the clock struck half past ten and Washu wheeled her out on the front patio and dumped her into a chair. Washu then ran off leaving Ryoko and then pushed what seemed to be Mishosi and Ayeka into two other chairs. Both seemed quite surprised.  
" If you need anything, just ring the bell," said Washu placing a bell in front of Ryoko.  
" AH! Oh…erm..morning Ryoko," said Ayeka realising how she was shoved into a chair. " Nice day today isn't it."  
" Yeah it's swell," said Ryoko looking around herself. " Is Washu gone?"  
" Looks like it," said Mishosi. " Besides, where's Tenchi today?"  
" On his language lessons I was told," said Ryoko. Mishosi and Ayeka looked at each other and gulped. Ryoko raised an eyebrow. " What?"  
" Nothing, nothing," said Ayeka. " How about some tea?"  
" Yeah, I would like a drink that hasn't been shoved down my mouth." Said Ryoko. Ayeka poured some tea into some cups. She gave one to Ryoko and one to Mishosi. Ryoko gulped it down with in seconds. " My…someone's thirsty today."  
" Yeah well, I'm waiting to see Tenchi," said Ryoko still looking around. She rang the bell and Washu ran up.   
" Yes?" asked Washu.  
" Why don't you sit here," said Ryoko getting out of her chair. " I have to use the girl's room."  
" I'll come help."  
" NO!" cried Ryoko. She put Washu in the chair. " I'll let the servant rest for the meantime, I'll be back in a minute."  
Ryoko ran off into the garden while Washu was given some tea by Ayeka. The royal garden seemed quite large from the balcony Ryoko was on earlier. But it was completely huge when she came face to face with it. There were large pine trees around the edges of the gardens with small bushes with blooming flowers in the middle; still Ryoko couldn't see Tenchi. While she was looking around she accidentally bumped into the royal gardener who was trimming a rose bush.  
" Hey! Watch it," said the gardener.   
" Oh, I'm sorry," said Ryoko back to the gardener not looking at his face. " Did you see Tenchi?"  
" You mean his highness?" asked the gardener pointing to a stone stairway leading downwards. " Oh, he's down at the pavilion with his tutor, I believe they were holding hands."  
" WHAT?" shouted Ryoko running off down the stairs. The gardener looked a bit confused.  
" And I thought you were happy with what I was doing?" muttered the gardener taking off his hat. It was the devil. " Now where's that nice rose bush I was cutting to pieces?"  
Ryoko quickly made her way down the stairway and she arrived in yet more of the garden with rose bushes and large trees. But a few yards from her stood a large white wooden pavilion. It stood out from the rest of the garden because of its bright white coat of paint. However, it's beauty became ugly when he saw who was sitting inside it…..Tenchi….with….Kiyone! What was scarier was the fact that they were kissing.  
" TENCHI!" screamed Ryoko. Tenchi spun around from Kiyone to see Ryoko looking murderous.  
" Oh morning," said Tenchi. " I thought you had a tea party with Ayeka and Mishosi."  
" They're busy drinking with Washu," said Ryoko. She turned to Kiyone. " What are you doing with my husband?"  
" Teaching him how to speak German," said Kiyone trying to make up an alibi.  
" Really? And it had to involve kissing Tenchi?"  
" It's a German form of expressing their gladness of seeing someone."  
" Really?" asked Ryoko with mad looking eyes aimed at Kiyone. " Tenchi…speak something in German."  
" German? Oh ok….Ich Heiße Tenchi."  
" After…. How long have you had these lessons?"  
" Six months of lessons."  
" Six months of lessons that you can say your own name!!!!!!"  
" Ryoko, this can be explained in one simple sentence." Said Tenchi. " We'll talk later, come on Kiyone, I think I better pay your monthly wage."  
Tenchi and Kiyone quickly ran as fast as they could out of Ryoko's sight. But Ryoko was more annoyed that the devil had not granted her wish right. She down sulky on the pavilion bench with a sad look.  
" And he said that my wish had been granted. Tenchi's having an affair with…Kiyone! That doesn't feel right. Anyway, I better give him a call and find out what he's done." Said Ryoko searching herself quickly. " where did I put it?"  
" You dropped this in the garden," said Washu appearing out of nowhere holding the red mobile phone that the devil gave her.  
" AH!" screamed Ryoko. She swiped the phone off Washu and punched her away. " Give me that. Now…the number was 5555-Satan," she dialled the number. The tone on the other end rang for a few seconds and then someone picked it up.  
" The Devil speaking, who the hell are you?" asked the devil on the other end.  
" It's Ryoko! You said that you granted my wish correctly! IT ISN'T THOUGH! Tenchi is in love with Kiyone!"  
" Oh no Ryoko," said the devil sadly. " Let's get you out of there and we'll talk."  
" Out of where?" asked Ryoko.  
" The bath of course!"  
Ryoko looked around her. She was sitting in the hot springs taking a bath on her own. Somehow, she was pulled out of the wish. Very confused, Ryoko sat back and put the phone to the side of her out of the spring.  
" Don't loose the phone please! I hate it when customers always loose their phone!" said a voice above her. The Devil Lemming was sitting on a rock above her looking down at her. Ryoko looked at herself and realised she wasn't wearing anything.  
" AH!" screamed Ryoko covering her chest and crossing her legs. " You've got some nerve being here looking at me naked!"  
" As I said before, I'm never interested in women." said the Lemming jumping off the rock and sitting down next to Ryoko on the side of the spring in a red business suit. " So, your first wish didn't go to plan eh?"  
" Of course it didn't go to plan," said Ryoko. " You made Tenchi fall in love with Kiyone!"  
" Well let's consider what you told me, rich, power, and married to Tenchi. You said nothing about him being in love with you," said the Lemming taking out a bottle of beer and drinking it. " Anyway, ever goes with the rich and powerful wish at first and it always gets buggered up because people aren't precise with their wish!"  
" Ah…I see," said Ryoko looking down sad. The devil groaned and pat her shoulder.  
" It never works out the first time, that's why you have seven wishes! Well…six now." Said the devil looked at his nails. " I should get a make over sooner or later, 6000 years of being a lemming is getting to be a drag. Anyway, you thought of your second wish."  
" Well, after you said what you said about the first wish going wrong, I suppose I want to wish for something in which Tenchi loves me."  
" You know what I'm thinking?" asked the devil. " Something a little more romantic than being the wife of the king of Jurai. Something like….."  
"…..me and Tenchi doing something together."  
" Yeah like….like….it's rolling off my tongue but I can't say it!" said the Devil.  
" Playing some kind of sport?"  
" Yes! Yes! I'm getting a brain wave Ryoko, you and Tenchi grand slam Tennis mixed double champions of the world!"  
" That's it! We can defeat the whole world!" cried Ryoko jumping up in front of the devil. " I wish me and Tenchi were grand slam Tennis mixed double champions of the world!"  
" Granted!" shouted the devil clapping his hands together. " Oh and by the way Ryoko."  
" What?"  
" Cover your breasts up, I'm feel like doing something naughty!" said the devil. Ryoko quickly covered her breasts up with her hands then everything went bright white.  



End file.
